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One day, a guy dies and finds himself in hell. As he's wallowing in despair, he has his first meeting with the Devil.
Devil: Why so glum?
Guy: Why do you think? I'm in hell.
Devil: Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinking man?
Guy: Sure I love to drink.
Devil: We'll you're gonna love Mondays, then. We call it Tequila Monday and that's all we do. We drink until we throw up and then we drink some more.
Guy: Gee, that sounds great.
Devil: You a smoker?
Guy: You better believe it.
Devil: All right! You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from around the world and smoke our lungs out. If you get cancer, it's okay..you're already dead!
Guy: No way!
Devil: I bet you like to gamble.
Guy: Yes, as a matter of fact, I do.
Devil: Good, because Wednesday is gambling day. Craps, blackjack, horse races; you name it. We've even opened up a Pai Gow poker table.
Guy: Hmmm, I've never played pai gow before .. Dont starve soundtrack download for mac.
Devil: Well now you can. You like to do drugs?
Guy: Yes, I love drugs! You don't mean ..
Devil: That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a big bowl of crack. Smoke a doobie the size of your head. You can do all the drugs you want. If you overdose? It's okay! You're already dead!!
Guy: Yes! I never realized that hell was such a swinging place!!
Devil: So.. are you gay? Pathfinder: kingmaker - beneath the stolen lands download for mac os.
Guy: Uh, no.
Devil: Ooooh (grimaces), you're gonna HATE Fridays!
A young Texan grew up wanting to be a lawman. He grew up big, 6' 2', strong as a longhorn, and fast as a mustang. He could shoot a bottle cap tossed in the air at 40 paces. When he finally came of age, he applied to where he had only dreamed of working: the West Texas Sheriff's Department.
After a series of tests and interviews, the Chief Deputy finally called him into his office for the young man's last interview. The Chief Deputy said, 'You're a big strong kid and you can really shoot. So far your qualifications all look good, but we have, what you might call, an 'Attitude Suitability Test', that you must take before you can be accepted.
We just don't let anyone carry our badge, son.'
Then, sliding a service pistol and a box of ammo across the desk, the Chief said, 'Take this pistol and go out and shoot:
six illegal aliens,
six lawyers,
six meth dealers,
six Muslim extremists,
![For For](/uploads/1/1/9/5/119500653/980528627.jpg)
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six Democrats,
and a rabbit.'
'Why the rabbit?' queried the applicant.
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'You pass,' said the Chief Deputy. 'When can you start?'